Thank you for your patience while I sorted out my laptop fiasco. The old one was beyond repair and I’m getting a new one. I borrowed a friends laptop to write this post while I wait for my new laptop to ship.
Warning. This post contains sensitive topics.
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I was lucky enough to find an empty parking spot right opposite Cole’s house. I sat in my car for about 10 minutes telling myself all the reasons I shouldn’t go in there. I was getting married tomorrow for chrissakes, I should be home getting ready for my wedding not sitting in front of an ex’s house.
My phone rang drawing me out of my inner turmoil. It was my mother. I ignored it, I couldn’t bring myself to talk to her right now. After taking several deep breaths I finally got out of my car and slowly walked to the door. I raised my hand to ring the doorbell but the door flung open before I could.
“I was wondering how long you were going to sit out there.” Cole said with a grin.
“Were you spying on me?” I asked with a glare.
He cocked an eyebrow. “I wouldn’t call it spying. I was looking out my front window.” I wanted to smack the grin off his face.
Before I could come up with a sharp retort, he stepped aside and told me to come in.
“Where is Cara?” I asked when I walked in.
“She’s not feeling good. She’s resting upstairs. Would you like to go up and harass her? You seem to have made a hobby of that,” he said, that annoying grin still plastered on his face.
I sneered at him, refusing to respond to his teasing. “I came here for answers. and I’m not leaving until I get it. I want to close this chapter of my life once and for all.”
Cole nodded solemnly. “Take a seat.” He gestured towards the four seat dining table.
I sat down and he took the chair opposite me. No one said anything for a few minutes. We just sat there staring at each other. Finally he sighed and asked, “What did Jackie and Ian tell you?”
“Enough to know that you’re a horrible person. What the hell is wrong with you? Blackmail? Rape? You’re not who I thought you were.”
He studied me for a few moments and said, “You don’t really believe that do you? Because if you did, why would you come here? Alone? That’s not very smart.” He leaned back against the chair and folded his arms. One eyebrow was cocked and the grin on his face turned slightly sinister.
The predatory look on his face unnerved me and then suddenly it hit me full force how stupid I was. I was here alone in the home of a rapist. No one knew where I was. Cole claimed that Cara was upstairs but I didn’t know that for sure. If Cole was a rapist, I had not only walked into his home like a silly sacrificial lamb, I had also insulted him. My eyes darted to door as I wondered if I could make a run for it. When my eyes drifted back to Cole he was smiling at me in a way that let me know that he knew exactly what I was thinking.
The look he was giving me made my skin crawl and one part of me wanted to get the hell out of there right that second but another part of me was curious. I had come this far. I was already here, I might as well get answers and then get the hell out of there.
“Why?” I asked simply. That one word held a thousand questions. I said nothing else, as I waited to see what he would say.
He shrugged, “I was horny. She was there. I had heard all the rumours about how she was a good lay, I wanted to try her out. Imagine my surprise when I discovered it was all lies. She was a virgin. The bitch bled on my floor.” He wrinkled his nose and sneered as he recalled the memory. Then his face changed from one of disgust and the cocky grin was back. “Her pussy was tight though, so that was good.” He shrugged again.
His callous words shocked me. I had never heard Cole speak like that. It was like another person was in his body, speaking for him.The person sitting in front of me, wasn’t the person I was once knew. This was a side of Cole I had never seen before.
A sudden thought crossed through my mind and I began to laugh. His self-assured grin disappeared and was replaced with a confused look that just made me laugh harder.
“What’s funny?” he asked, clearly annoyed at my amusement.
“You are. You watch way too many movies.” I said when I managed to stop laughing. “Her pussy was tight.” I said mimicking his tone and demeanor.
The confusion on his face turned to annoyance but I paid it no mind.
“Do you remember that Halle Berry movie? The one with the bad reviews? Well I thought it was a good movie but the critics gave it low scores. ” I babbled.
He cocked his head at me, his face warring with emotions. He looked like he couldn’t decide whether to be angry or confused.
I snapped my fingers as I tried to recall the name of the movie, “I can’t remember what it’s called but she was playing a psych patient with multiple personality disorder. One minute she’s a seven-year old child and the next she’s a racist white woman.”
Cole still had that constipated look on his face, so I explained. “That’s you right now. Split personality. One minute your nice friendly Cole and the next you’re a raping, blackmailing sociopath. You clearly have mental issues and for some reason it has taken me this long to see it. ”
He rolled his eyes at me. His jaw ticked and I could see the anger brewing within him. I mentally chastised myself. Taunting him wasn’t going to get me anywhere, all I had managed to do was annoy him. I took a deep breath and got my bearings.
“What I really want to know is. How I fit into all this. Why did you call me out of the blue to lie to me and tell me that Jackie drugged and raped you. Why would you go through all the trouble of blackmailing Ian to make sure he went along with your story. What was your goal. Why did you do all this?”
“Wouldn’t you like to know.” he said with a smirk.
I sat back and stared at him, hoping he would fill the silence with the truth. But he just stared back at me. His brown eyes bored into me as amusement danced in his eyes.
As the silence stretched, something clicked in me. An epiphany of some sorts. I was emotionally exhausted and it all began when Cole had invited me to lunch. I had made a number of bad decisions since that day. Hell, I was in the middle of a bad decision right now. What was wrong with me?
I got up, grabbed my bag from where I placed it on the floor and said, “You have issues and I’m done trying to figure this out. Goodbye Cole.”
That was a lie. I wasn’t done. I still wanted to know his motives but I realized that it just wasn’t worth it. The first step of moving on from all this was walking away and that was exactly what I was going to do. I refused to let Cole toy with me any longer.
I hoisted my bag on my arm and turned towards the door. Just as I reached out to grab the door handle I was suddenly yanked back forcefully. Cole used my bag strap to yank me back and I lost a hold of it. My bag dropped to the floor and some of the contents spilled out.
Cole grabbed my wrists in one hand and my wrapped his hand in my hair with the other. He pulled me flush against him and said against my neck. “Where do you think you’re going to. I’m not done talking to you.” His words tickled my skin and I felt something cold trail up my neck. He licked me. A shudder of revulsion ran through me and goosebumps dotted my skin. What the hell did I get myself into. I silently cursed myself for skipping the self-defense classes that Fehi had signed me up for. I didn’t know how to escape his grip. One hand-held my wrists tightly being my back, between us and his other hand was twisted up in my hair in a tight grip that prickled my scalp.I tried to stay calm. He had a tight hold on me and he was stronger than me. I decided to use my words.
“Cole what are you doing?” I said as calmly as I could.
He ignored my question and kissed my neck.
“Cara is upstairs. ” I said, trying to reason with him.
“So?” he snorted.
I started to respond but he suddenly turned me around to face him. The feral look in his eyes made my heart beat faster.
He really was crazy.
His head lowered and I knew that he was going to kiss me and I reacted instinctively. I thrust upwards and forwards and head butted him as hard as I could.
He let out a strangled yell and gripped his nose. Blood was spilling out. I should have taken that moment to get out of there. I should have run and not looked back but I hesitated long enough for him to get his bearings. I didn’t see the fist coming but I sure as hell felt it. The backhand blow hit me on my temple and rattled my skull. I staggered backwards and my back hit the door. My vision blurred slightly as the pain radiated throughout my entire body.
“You stupid bitch.” I heard him say. Although he was right in front of me, his voice sounded far away.
He grabbed my neck and squeezed and my already blurry vision began to fade some more. “You stupid cunt.” I heard him say. I clawed at the hand at my neck as I fought for air. I scratched wildly, my lungs bursting with the need for oxygen.
He suddenly released me and I collapsed to the floor as I gasped and inhaled. I didn’t have a second to appreciate the sweet oxygen flowing into my lungs before he was suddenly on top me.
“You just made this harder for yourself. I was going to take my time but now you just lost that luxury.” He laid down on me. The weight of his body crushing me. As he spoke, blood dripped down his nose and unto my face and dress.
“Please. Stop. Please Cole.” I managed to whisper. The ringing in my head and the pain in my neck made it hard to say the words any louder. I looked in his eyes trying desperately to connect with the old Cole. The Cole I grew up with. That Cole had to be somewhere inside him. Right?
Wrong. His eyes gleamed and he broke into a smile. I felt a bulge against my thigh and I realized that my helplessness was turning him on. My stomach roiled and I had to fight the urge to throw up. Vomiting on him would probably get me another punch in the head.
I tried to push him off me but he just laughed at my miserable attempt and with one hand he pinned my wrists above my head. I felt his other hand between us and my eyes widened as I realized that he was unbuttoning his pants.
I began to buck with all my might and I opened my mouth to scream but that scream was cut off as the hand that was gripping my wrist let go and then clamped against my mouth.
“Shut the fuck up.” He hissed at me.
I sure as hell wasn’t going down without a fight. Now that my hands were free. I clawed at his face, trying to hurt him.
The hand that was against my mouth moved to my neck and began to squeeze. Automatically, my hands stopped clawing his face and moved to clawing the hand wrapped against my neck as I fought to breathe. His other hand was still between us trying to undo his pants.
“I would prefer to do this while you’re awake, but I won’t mind fucking you while you’re passed out too.”
My fear, which was already off the charts kicked up a notch as his words sunk in. Through the thick haze of fear, I was somehow able to think clearly. I stopped fighting. I would rather he violate my body while I was awake than for him to do it while I was unconscious. I didn’t want this sick monster to have that kind of access to my body. If he could do this to me while I was conscious, who knew what the sadistic bastard was capable of when he had unfettered access. He slowly let go of my neck as he saw my resistance fading. His hand left my neck and went to clamp my mouth. I inhaled deeply, feeling the cool air soothe my burning lungs.
“That’s right baby. Just lay back and enjoy it. Don’t make any noise now.”
I sob caught in my throat. I couldn’t believe this was happening to me. I could feel the pain but at the same time I felt like I was having an out of body experience. It felt like I was in an episode of Criminal minds.
It hurt to breathe and the pain in my head seemed to have doubled. I could feel my body slowly shutting off. I turned my head to the side as tears leaked from my eyes. The contents of my bag had spilled and were littered on the floor around us. I tried to focus on something, anything that could take my mind of what this monster was about to do to me.
Rich leather caught my eyes and a surge of hope coursed through me as I realized what it was. Tricia’s knife. I had never taken it out of my bag when she gave it to me. The knife was still in its leather sheath. I fought through the fogginess that threatened to consume me.
My limbs were heavy and it was as though my hand wasn’t receiving the messaged from my brain. I needed to move quickly, before Cole got his pants off, but my movement was slow. Luckily, Cole was too busy shrugging his pants off to pay attention to my movement.
I was able to inch my fingers towards it and my hand finally came in contact with the cool leather. The sheath had a flap which was easy to get off but I was panicked and the adrenaline shooting through my veins made my hand shake.
Cole had gotten his pants off and was now working on getting of my panties. My dress gave him easy access to my underwear but with one hand and no cooperation from me it wasn’t a smooth process. He mumbled something to himself about, ‘catatonic bitches’
Good. Let him think I had checked out of reality. It meant he wasn’t focusing on my actions. I couldn’t look to see what my hands were doing because I didn’t want to give myself away. By the time I finally got off the flapped and gripped the handle of the knife. He had managed to get my underwear to my knees.
When Tricia had given me the knife when I had the meeting with Cara, I had laughed at her. Now, it was going to be the thing that saved me.
With all the strength I had left, I raised my hand and plunged the sharp knife into Cole’s back.